"You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves"

"You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves"

 from the Wild Geese by Mary Oliver


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With thanks to Grace

Love

The swans are back on the lake for the winter. Just one pair, they come every year.

I have to go deeper into the forest to glimpse them up close. At first they are hidden by the reeds but as I step into the water they stir and swim towards me, elegantly posing side by side.

They mate for life. As I have.

My mate is building a wall. He faces the sun which warms his hands on the cold stones. Blissfully happy out in the air, away from the writing and the issues he wrestles with in the world of change.

We glide past each other in opposite directions. We chat. He talks to me about stones. He points out dozens of seagulls coming in to wash in the lake. He speaks of weather fronts coming in from the north and searches the sky for blue patches.

I talk to him about creative struggles. Should I explore a new location? Will I begin to tweak my photos a bit more? Maybe I need to alter my workspace?

Later he is on his way to empty the kitchen bins. One for cooked food one for uncooked. He is meticulous about this. I am the one who messes it up..... all the time. As he passes he puts an arm around me and says my name.........with such enthusiasm! I laugh. His mucky old hat is askew on his head. His grubby old jacket dusty from the stones.

I have heard stories about love. About mating for life. About swans who live in peace all their lives.

And now I phone him from the forest. "The swans are back again!" And I know that he, the one who holds the key to my heart, is cheered by this ordinary piece of news in a way that only he would be..........


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Dawn embrace

It's early, 4 am. It's going to be a good day, the darkness is a kind of blue.

A spooky mist is rising from the lake. As the sun starts to brighten in the east it gradually takes on a warm tinge. It is very cold but the wafts of mist promise the warmth of summer. The small cauldron of the lake is steaming into life this May morning.

Two swans slowly make their appearance. At first they move closer together as if in an embrace and then they head in different directions, one south, one north.

Out of the darkness the day fully arrives as usual and all the sleepyheads begin to emerge everywhere and greet their loved ones.

Reluctant to leave winter behind

I am finding it hard to let go of winter. Usually in dread of darkness, this year through observance and photography I have strangely, weirdly, fully, fallen in love with winter.

The sparse branches of the hedgerow willows and the brown bracken outside my window, have become a familiar backdrop to my daily life. I am unsettled by the blazing golden fuze bushes which are lighting up my work station now and startled by the lengthening day with emerging fresh greens everywhere.

Since the Winter Solstice the world has been turning back towards the sun and I need to let go now and let the light return to my life. They say it takes four seasons to grieve a loved one. Bare winter will always be the reminder of how much we have lost, but Spring, when we allow her in, is a reminder of the future....

Shadow and darkness are an integral another part of seeing through a lens and add depth to all our images.......

Winter Solstice the longest night of the year

As the sun sets this evening, the sky both darkens and colours. Gradually an average grey day turns into a mysterious and magical evening. While our ancestors calculated fairly accurately that this, December 21st, would be the longest night, I imagine they that were overwhelmed by questions as to why, just as I am tonight.

After a dark winter event in my life I am wandering around in the end of nowhere, doing very little except observing this transformation. The sun is setting in the farthest corner of the southwest. From tomorrow everything will change again as the earth turns back towards the sun and the light will return little by little each day.

Mythical winter swan on the lake

As an anti-dote to the economic wars endlessly rehearsed on the airwaves I took to the water last night and just observed the peaceful world of this swan. Whenever I see a swan it brings me back to the story of the Children of Lir which we all learned in school as small children.

Lir and his wife Aobh had four children called, Aodh, Fionghuala, Fiachra and Conn. When Lir's wife died in childbirth he remarried but his new wife Aoife was jealous of the children and their loving relationship with their father. One day in a jealous rage she put the children under a spell and they were turned into four white swans. They remained in that form for 400 years, living lives of horrendous hardship and loneliness wandering the world. I can almost feel the cold that they experienced living on icy waters through endless winters whenever I think of them.

In the end the spell was finally broken and they were returned to human form as withered old people. They were eventually baptised, died peacefully and were buried together. 

This legend is very much part of our Irish national psyche as is being able to absorb all sorts of stories and myths in our youth. So many beautiful Irish works of art have drawn on the powerful image of the four children as swans, or the amazing transformation from child to bird or from swan to human again. 

I still relish tales of the bitter sweet sort, of trapped beauty, of ice cold worlds, and above all of human survival and love........

For once the little lake gets a starring role

This little lake is the first and last thing I see every day from my window. Mist rising, rain disturbing the surface, ice forming or sun gleaming and sparkling on it's surface making it a swimmable day, the lake tells the story. The light catches it from every angle and although people who drive past it are aware of it, I live with it all year around and it changes by the minute.

Herons fly over and back all summer long and on stormy days seagulls wash in it and hang out until the winds drop and they can go back to the coast. Wild birds live around it and others dip in when they are passing. Swans mate there and if you are swimming swallows swoop down and sip water around you barely noticing your prescence.

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, left and right from my view. It is a back up reservoir and when I swim in it I remember that people will be drinking that water a little later! As far as I know there isn't a monster in it although it is 90 feet deep in the middle and was formed from an ancient volcanic crater. Last winter it froze over for the first time since 1962. An old man on a stick walked out on it saying he would probably never see the likes again.

In summer it is alive with insects, in winter it is shelter for birds and small animals. Surrounded by a forest on one it is also a picnic spot for the many day trippers and the fishermen who frequent it. It is easy to take for granted what is right under your nose and although I photograph it all the time today I decided to give it a starring role. What is on your street or out your window? What do you see when you look out to check on the new day?

It's Midsummer!

In Sweden they really like to celebrate the summer solstice.  Families and friends gather for special crayfish parties which go on well into the bright night. Swedes are also fond of summer swimming in the inland lakes and at the archipeligo in Stockholm as well as the Baltic Sea. In Ireland we are are very cautious about lake swimming and it was only when my Swedish nephews came to visit me here that I followed their lead and jumped into the lake for the first time.

What amused me most was that we had no running water at the time, (another story) and so they naturally assumed we would bathe and wash in the lake. Without batting an eyelid, they walked off through the meadow, towels draped over their arms and wash bags at the ready! Ten years later I am now a confident lake swimmer. I have even had the pleasure of meeting a large trout eye ball to eye ball when he popped his head out of the water and looked at me for a moment......

Lake swimming is like the best outdoor spa in the world (although to be fair sea-swimming is the very creme de la creme). The water is soft and surprisingly warm and the scent of wild mint trodden underfoot adds to the spa vibe! The sounds are wonderful too, the breeze whistling through the reeds, the lapping of the water on the shore, and the birds and bees joining in. My favourite part is watching the swallows ducking and diving to sip water from the lake while always avoiding your head, or the heron flying across and calling like some prehistoric creature.

This summer solstice I will have a late lake swim to celebrate. I send best wishes to all the inspiring and supportive bloggers, tweeters, facebookers, friends and family who have been supporting my work since I started to blog in February. But a special wave to all my lovely (gorgeous looking) Swedish family and friends, have a wonderful Midsummer Solstice. What will you do to celebrate?